The torture of keeping mum

There are days when my head just refuses to cooperate with me. Today was one of those. Why? I have no idea. Just that so many thoughts flash along and I am usually left gawking at the speed at which they travel (understandable as this is not a common occurrence). 

I marvel at all those individuals who can keep track of their thoughts or on the alternative let them be and not speak out about them. I can’t. I need answers/explanations and I need them immediately.  And I need to share. Especially, if the thought is important(according to me). I always wonder how a few of my friends can keep mum for hours (mostly the guys). I mean, does it not hurt to keep all your thoughts in your head? (Unless of course you are one of those people who has no thoughts…and I don’t want to mention names for obvious reasons)

It is at times like these that I think of my dad. My dad is one of those amazing people who can say absolutely nothing for a whole day. I imagine it is because I could speak the ears of my whole family. I wonder if he was bombarded by thoughts like these and with the noise quotient from outside (me), he may have thought it better to let it pass.

Someday soon, I am going to ask him. But then he may do the guy thing and not respond as he sometimes does. I think all fathers should be banned from doing the guy thing and as daughters; we should have rights into our dad’s minds because it is important. I often wonder if maybe that will force him to tell me why he prefers to keep things to himself. Though I may not want to know too much about what he thinks of me (on that count, I’d rather be oblivious).

May be some day I will tell him that I would have liked to hear what he had to say (even if he had to shut me up forcibly to say it). And so is it with my friends. I want to tell them that letting me know what you think does not mean letting go of yourself. It just means you considered me important enough to tell me your thoughts.